R Learns to Swim

R has started his swim class for approximately 2 months now. He had just finished his 8th lesson today. I would say he has improved tremendously, from only knowing how to play a fool in waters, to date, he can actually put his face into the water and blow bubbles, without crying his lungs out.

First lesson

8th lesson

Prior to today, he will not volunteer to practice putting his face into the water, he refused to blow bubbles with his nose in the water, and if the coach attempt to "force" it, he'll scream and cry and I swear my friend can even hear it from her 15th floor home. I was a little worried the residents/committee were going to actually bring up this "screaming and wailing kids swimming in the pool every week, too noisy, how to stop them?" as an agenda in their committee meeting. 😓

So I am a very very PROUD MOMMY today! 😎

The one thing I notice about R's learning, he is not those who improve gradually, or progress like the gradual curve pattern on the learning graph. He usually goes from a '0' straight to a 10, with no in between. I have notice this, since he was on toilet training, and then I thought back and realised it has always been the case since he was learning to talk.

R's speech development was rather slow, not exceptionally slow, but comparatively, he was slower. He didn't mumble or baby talk alot before he was a year old, and many parents or experts would say children by the age of 12 months, should be able to blabber "maa maa" or "baa baa" or "milk milk", R had never done that, or seem interested to try. 

I was getting quite worried because at about 16 months old, R still didn't seem interested in talking, and was still not calling "mommy" or "daddy". He would do more baby talk now, blabber more, but he was not into "serious" talking business. He did at random times utter a "car" or "ah-per" (apple), but it was mostly a once or a couple of times thing, and so I don't know if that count as talking already?

That worried me enough to bring it up to the PD when I brought R for his jab. PD's advice was to try and talk to R more and wait till he gets to 24 months, still not talking, I can consider bringing him for checks at KKH. PD told me some children is slower in terms of speech development, because they need to be able to join or coordinate many parts of the brain function together, just to say out a word, with meaning. It sounds very complicated right, so I thought, ok lahz, maybe R just needs more time, so I shall just be patient and stop scaring myself!

And then in between still just all the gibberish and one fine day I heard "Dad-deeeee!" Oh my god. I immediately rush forward and kept making R repeat that, and he did. "Dad-deee! Dad-deeeeee!" until he got tired of my pestering and stopped. Although he did not call "mommy" first, but I was still damn happy, because my son is talking!!!!!!

Once he kicked start that speech development engine, he started "flying", picking up news words, vocabs, forming simple sentences at a really really alarming rate. It was alarming to me, because before that, he was still baby-talking, and he just woke up 1 day and started talking, like properly, not the "ahhhh yayaaaa".

And today, I cannot get him to stop talking, no matter he is playing or eating, or trying to sleep, even sleep also sleep talk! He just talk non-stop, he talks to random aunties and uncles, pester our neighbours, talk to taxi drivers...etc...he just cannot stop talking...for too long. His pronunciation still needs some correction at times, but he really enjoys talking sooooooo much, sometimes I feel my ear and brain coordination cannot catch up. 😰

Then came the toilet training when he turned 3 years old. I started on it because the school did, and I wanted to support the school effort, and I thought it will be easier on both sides, if we worked together.

It was not easy, he was very reliant on diapers at home. He refused to inform beforehand that he wants to pass motion or pass urine, because he did not want to do it in the toilet. He was more willing to try going to the toilet in school, but not at home. So I went to buy training pants for R and I stop letting him wear diapers at home. There were accidents, and some successful times, and I always make deliberate effort to praise him when he pass urine in the toilet and I will not fuss over his "accidents". I hope that will help to build up his confidence. In the process, we shifted to my parents' place and to help, my mom got him a potty.

Gradually, he was potty-trained! But only when he wants to do small business. He did not want to pass motion in the potty or toilet, and he would only pass motion in diaper. We put him on the potty or toilet, he'll sit there for 30 minutes and nothing comes out. Put on his diaper, TAAADAAAAA SHIT COMES OUT. 

After months of trying, we finally had 1 success!

2nd March 2016

You will never know how happy you are to see someone shitting in the potty or toilet, until you become a parent, or a mom. I really really want to POP CHAMPAGNE, not that it is my style of celebration, I would prefer to go for a buffet or have steamboat, but my point is, I am superrrrrr HAPPY, I want to pump my fist in the air and cheer! This is after months of effort!

However, this happiness was short-lived. Although we praised and applauded for R, and he was also happy and looked quite pleased with himself, he refused to pass motion into the potty again afterwards, for weeks and weeks! He'll ask for diaper when any of us picked up a training pants for him to wear after his shower. Usually I get my way, convincing him to put on the training pants, but really not so easy for the others at home to keep the diaper away.

Then he fell ill for quite sometime and didn't go to school. And when he returned to school, his teachers told me, he cried when they asked him to relieve himself in the toilets and he has also been telling teachers he wants to wear diaper *BIG SIGH* Nonetheless, the teachers still told me to be patient, and that we'll just have to restart again. So I was all prepared to restart all the efforts we made and then.................

Then, R began to do all his small and big business in potty. Just like that, suddenly, no retraining, or pacifying. He just came to us and tell us he needs to pass motion, he'll remove his training pants and do it on the potty. It definitely was not because of what the teachers and I talked about prior, because R wasn't around when I talked to his teachers about his toilet training difficulties. So I don't know how or why, but something click in R's brain and he is officially TOILET-TRAINED! OVERNIGHT!

Of course, some time later we also taught him to use the toilet instead of potty, and the transition was very smooth too. WE ARE SO GLAD!! 😂 (Oh, I realised I can insert emoji! 😃 Goes back and insert emoji for some paragraphs.)

When I started him on swimming, I don't know how he'll react to it, or if he will learn it seriously. But I always felt swimming is an important skill to master, and it is very helpful in life, and it at least makes me feel a little safer, if he knows how to swim, since he likes to go for waterplay. But I know it also took him a long time, to feel at ease with wet head and face at waterplays, and he really don't like that big bucket that pours huge waves of water onto the people. It freaks him out.

Though, overtime, he seems to accept it better. These videos always made me smile. 😍 Not only is it funny, but also because it is evident that my little boy is growing up, becoming braver and had overcome his fears. 

See how he was willing to try and get closer to it, or even risk getting poured on. Although there were some kind of peer pressure involved, as he was actually "following" some of the kids at the playground. Peer pressure is sometimes, very effective, thus, going to learn swimming, with a friend who is slightly younger than him, sounds like a good idea, can influence each other mahz. But I can only hope they influence each other positively!

First lesson is more of him disturbing the coach by throwing his teaching props into the water and getting him to go "fetch" it. And the 2 kids merely did blowing of bubbles and the coach "bathing" them by constantly pouring water over their heads, and they did not perform well at all. Rine (his swim mate) was crying the moment water touches her face, because she hates getting her face wet. R was busy running around and playing, he thought I brought him out for water play. He can't blow bubbles when the lesson started, he can barely blow bubbles when the lesson ended. The only accomplishment was he did not cry when water was all over his face.

Everything also funny in the first lesson

Then suddenly, at the 2nd session, the coach just without warning, dunk him in the water. Ok lahz, maybe not dunk, but "dip" him inside the water for a few seconds. R was caught off guard and he didn't know what to do, so he actually breathe in water and was terrified. He didn't like that the water is going into his nose and ears. I can totally understand that fear, and I also did know why the coach do that. But it was the first coach I hired and I didn't know if he actually has a plan for that, so I didn't went up to him and objected. I don't want to be a annoying presence, interfering with his coaching. Plus, the first few "dips" R was quite calm lehz, didn't cry or what, only till the last 2-3 "dips" he was really really frightened and kept saying,"I don't want!" and this line stuck till today. He'll keep saying that to the coach whenever the coach is holding him in the water. He doesn't trust the coach not to "drop" him into the water. So he had this "SAVE ME" look whenever he is not holding the wall. 

Now everything also not so funny

And I don't blame him, because he did not know how to swim, he can't blow bubbles well yet at that time, and he doesn't know what to do when his face is underwater, and the coach did not coach him, just dunk him. I didn't like the coach's method, or how he'll always say,"Shut your mouse (mouth)" or "Shut up!" when the children are crying for mommy. I think there are better ways to calm a child down. The choice of his words, SIGH, but then again, he is not local, so limited English vocabulary, I must forgive. I didn't want to appear to be too protective, so I didn't go "save" R, I just keep on encouraging him from the sides. I also don't want him to become Gen Y strawberry lahz, I hope he can be a tough boy so...... 

And, sometimes people learn better the hard way right? And R was like playing and playing, and I think now it is also time he knows, swim class is not play time, it is serious business. From 3rd to 7th lesson, R was wailing and screaming half of the lesson or probably more. When he is having a good day, less crying, Rine will cry more. It is like they are doing tag relay, R can blow bubbles in the water and stops crying, Rine cry coz her face is wet. Rine mastered the float and can practice the arms movement easily in water, R starts crying coz he is damn scared he'll drown.

R sounds very pitiful right, but many times after the coach lifts him out of the water or tell him "last time", "lesson finish" he'll 偷笑, and as soon as the coach leaves him alone, he is all smiley and happy again. Notice his mood change also from scale '0' to '10', no in between. And what I admire about R's learning attitude, is that although he is very scared, and resist a lot, but he'll still give it a try (maybe because bo bian). Before he tried, he'll say he "can't do it" or he "don't want to do it", but usually coach ignores that, and he'll resurface crying, but he immediately become all cheery again, once the scary part of the class stop.

Today 8th lesson, R started the lesson showing the coach how he can put half his face into the water and blow bubbles. He can blow for like 7-8 seconds ok, not those short short ones, and that amazes me too, because last week he was still crying hell when coach told him to put his face in the water! We did not practice in secret also, so I don't know which buttons clicked again, and R just magically overcame that fear and now he knows what to do when his face is in the water. He even happily go demo to the crying Rine, "See, I can do it." Don't know trying to hao lian or encourage his friend.

Just when I thought "YAY! I think he's got it." The crying began when the coach wants him to practice the arms movement together with the breathing and blowing of bubbles, in the water, away from the walls, which means to coordinate all the movements plus breathing together. But R's coordination skills really quite lagging one, so I know that this is not going to happen today. The coach kept saying,"I will grab you!" which again, is a bad choice of vocab, but I forgive again. But then R already lost the faith and trust in this coach, so no matter how many times coach reassure R, R just repeat,"I don't want! I'll do on my own!"

And if coach leaves him by the wall to practice on his own, R really diligently do it! I am the witness, and I am not biased ok, trust me. I will encourage him, guide him and he'll really focus and do. Then I understand why he so piah. 

When the coach comes near him, he'll tell him,"Coach, you see I can do it, I got practice!" And when the coach attempts to carry him away from the wall, he'll struggle and repeat,"Coach, I got practice! I don't want to go into the water! I will do on my own!" followed by crying and whining, but of course still failed to be left alone. 

Somehow, in his mind, he decided that if he is good enough, or good boy enough, he'll escape the fate of being pulled away from the wall, where he felt safe. But boy ah boy, if you don't go into the waters, away from the wall, how to master the true technique of swimming? You cannot rely on the walls to help you to float, forever, right?

When the coach pulled him away to teach him, he was really too frightened, that his hands and legs all cramped up, and he can't relax. That makes it really difficult for him to draw the circles with his arms, or kick his legs. He kept pushing the hand board down, and thus makes it even difficult for him to practice the breaststroke movements. So in my mind, I know it is because the coach already broke the trust, that's why he cannot relax and trust the coach to hold him and teach him.

This is also one of the reasons why, I want to change coach. Plus, he has been late for consecutively 3 lessons now, and MIA for 1 lesson. This also goes to show a lot about his attitude.

Summary of why I want to change swim coach:

#1. Poor punctuality

#2. Can't handle crying children

#3. No patience

#4. Cannot speak properly

#5. Likes to use rude phrases to keep them quiet

Sorry if next time R sees your kid crying and goes,"Shut up!!" or "Shut your mouse!" I did not teach him that, he picked it up from his swim coach.

Why don't I just stop his swim classes now? Because when I feel like just stopping till I find another coach, today R showed improvement! That makes me motivated to let him continue so there's continuity, from now, till he go learn from the new coach next Jan. The new coach that my friend contacted cannot start in December. I really hope I am not making a wrong decision, to not stop his swim class now. R always like that lehz, make me feel like giving up hope, then suddenly MAGIC, show me he can do it.

So today's lesson was less tearful. Although both kids kept showing alot of fear during class, but they did not show rejection or object violently whenever we bring them for swim lessons. R only tell me,"I don't like swim class, can I go waterplay?" When I said negative, he just follow me to class, no fussing or whatsoever, although I was bombarded with alot of "why why why why". 😣 

Today, when the class ended, both of them could still wave bye-bye happily to the coach, no hard feelings at all. Children can be really sweet right? I hope they can stay so innocent so a long time!

Every swim class day, I always pack a snack for him in his bag, and I won't tell him what I packed. I tell him it is a surprise, and he'll be rewarded if he does well in class today. Which is every lesson lahz, he already so scared still go swim, how can I say,"Today you didn't move your arms properly, so no good, and no surprise for you." Cannot right, he'll be even more sad and despise swimming class. 

The snacks I prepared for him are all his faves, like strawberries, grapes, biscuits, sandwiches, crackers, milo etc, so he really looks forward to the after class surprise snack every week. He surprise me, I also surprise him, fair play!

Today for some unknown reasons, I packed extra snacks and gave 1 packet of biscuit to Rine. She was so delighted! These 2 kids have such simple expectation and just something so small can make them so happy. 💖

I don't know what surprise I will get from R the next lesson. Maybe TAAAADAAA and he is swimming in the pool like Michael Phelps (or Joseph Schooling also can). 

HAHAHAHAHA (A mother's ridiculous dream)